The other day, I decided to go for a two mile run around campus in order to procrastinate on a paper (don't worry, I finished it last night). At one point on my run, I ran past a guy who was walking down the sidewalk. As I passed, eyes straight ahead, he clapped his hands and yelled "Nice legs!" I did not respond. I just ran faster, changing route so that I turned out of his view rather than continuing to run in front of him. I was wearing shorts with loose spandex beneath them that went down to my knees, which I periodically tried to pull down past my knees for the rest of my run.
Now some of you might be asking, "So what? He was just complimenting you. He didn't do any harm." And of course I understand this view. Plenty of women would be perfectly fine with a comment like this. But I am not plenty of women and for me, nothing could make me more uncomfortable. This is not the first time I have received this sort of comment, and it probably won't be the last, but it's something I can't get used to and it always makes me feel as if I don't belong in my own body. I do not ask for these comments and I do not want them. I'd be perfectly okay with never being noticed in this way and going on with my life, but, realistically, this probably is not a possibility.
I've never been particularly thin. Since my "little girl" days ended in fifth grade with the lovely onslaught of puberty, I've grown up having curves, and I never exactly considered myself lucky to have them. I wore t-shirts and loose jeans for the majority of my time in middle school because I saw what happened to the girls who wore their bodies with pride. I learned to lash out at guys who harassed me (even though they believed they were doing me a favor) until I was able to go by unnoticed for the most part.
In today's society, women are pressured to have a certain body type and most women become self-conscious when they have a little extra roundness on them. Some desperately want to lose this "flaw" and trade it for a smaller, tighter body, achieving the perfect amount of curviness so that they can be more attractive. Sometimes I wish I could get rid of my curves too, but for quite an opposite reason.
I don't want the sort of body that brings on "compliments." For once, I want to be able to wear shorts and not feel over sexualized. I want to be able to wear a shirt and not worry about it revealing too much. But if people comment on my body when I'm red-faced, sweaty, and wearing knee-long shorts and a t-shirt, just what do I have to do to be unnoticed?
I think the problem lies in what our society deems as "okay" these days. People tell themselves that their words are harmless, that they're giving you a self-esteem booster or doing you a favor. We're human beings. We're allowed to feel attraction and let the people around us know that. But maybe we should learn to keep our mouths shut. Why can't we just look at people like works of art, admiring them and appreciating their beauty, but without speaking to them as if their bodies belong to us?
I know that, even if I were straight as a board, there would still probably be instances where I would receive compliments that would make me uncomfortable. Believe me, I would love to be comfortable in the body I have now, but, as long as people think it is okay to ostentatiously comment on it, I can't be.
Now some of you might be asking, "So what? He was just complimenting you. He didn't do any harm." And of course I understand this view. Plenty of women would be perfectly fine with a comment like this. But I am not plenty of women and for me, nothing could make me more uncomfortable. This is not the first time I have received this sort of comment, and it probably won't be the last, but it's something I can't get used to and it always makes me feel as if I don't belong in my own body. I do not ask for these comments and I do not want them. I'd be perfectly okay with never being noticed in this way and going on with my life, but, realistically, this probably is not a possibility.
I've never been particularly thin. Since my "little girl" days ended in fifth grade with the lovely onslaught of puberty, I've grown up having curves, and I never exactly considered myself lucky to have them. I wore t-shirts and loose jeans for the majority of my time in middle school because I saw what happened to the girls who wore their bodies with pride. I learned to lash out at guys who harassed me (even though they believed they were doing me a favor) until I was able to go by unnoticed for the most part.
In today's society, women are pressured to have a certain body type and most women become self-conscious when they have a little extra roundness on them. Some desperately want to lose this "flaw" and trade it for a smaller, tighter body, achieving the perfect amount of curviness so that they can be more attractive. Sometimes I wish I could get rid of my curves too, but for quite an opposite reason.
I don't want the sort of body that brings on "compliments." For once, I want to be able to wear shorts and not feel over sexualized. I want to be able to wear a shirt and not worry about it revealing too much. But if people comment on my body when I'm red-faced, sweaty, and wearing knee-long shorts and a t-shirt, just what do I have to do to be unnoticed?
I think the problem lies in what our society deems as "okay" these days. People tell themselves that their words are harmless, that they're giving you a self-esteem booster or doing you a favor. We're human beings. We're allowed to feel attraction and let the people around us know that. But maybe we should learn to keep our mouths shut. Why can't we just look at people like works of art, admiring them and appreciating their beauty, but without speaking to them as if their bodies belong to us?
I know that, even if I were straight as a board, there would still probably be instances where I would receive compliments that would make me uncomfortable. Believe me, I would love to be comfortable in the body I have now, but, as long as people think it is okay to ostentatiously comment on it, I can't be.